Family Court Violence and Crazy-Making Maneuvers

By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. -

If I tell you that you are “crazy” and threaten to punish you because of what I have said, a part of you begins to question that maybe what I have alleged is true.

Crazy-Making from the Outside In

Then, if I tell someone in authority that you are “crazy” and consequently they set forth to create restrictions around your personal and civil liberties, then more of you questions…is this true?

Then, if all those around you begin to justify your losses and tragic circumstances by the “fact” that you are “crazy” because the court record says so, then even more of you questions…and part of you believes it to be so.

Then, you go around and try to convince others that what is alleged about you is not true and over time you inadvertently solidify what was once not true to be true. That is, you wear the “crazy hat.” Why? Because what you resist persists. And what you focus on expands!

Crazy-Making from the Inside Out

Now on a very, very, very deep level, you know you are not crazy, BUT your cognitive mind must reconcile the cognitive dissidence created by the gross disparity in your beliefs, emotions and actions resulting from the restrictions imposed.

So, how does one resolve cognitive dissidence-the state of tension caused by disharmony among one’s thoughts, emotions and actions? You bring all three elements into harmony by dismissing one element or changing one. And the one changed or dismissed is the one with the less convincing voice; that is, the voice overshadowed by the other voices.

For example, if you have lost your personal liberties or portions of your parental rights, this very loud action may overshadow your belief that you are sane. Now to keep the emotions of loss, longing and horrific grief in check, you embrace the challenge of bringing these two intense and grossly incompatible elements into harmony.

You can assume the belief system and you live a very defended life of protecting your craziness from social shame, until you wake up or don’t. Or you may implode with internal conflict, until it resolves itself or not.

Crazy-Making Conclusion and Remedy

This is how perpetrators make their victims crazy with the use of the system to torment and control their lives. I have seen this hundreds of times and each time I’m a witness to someone losing their sanity in this fashion, I’m in awe at the utter cruelty of what they bear.

If you are a victim of someone telling you that you are crazy and seeking to use these allegations to punish or discredit you, stop yourself in your tracks as you ask, is this so? Your job is to keep that inquiry going until that thought (I’m crazy) lets go of you.

For more information on crazy-making and family court violence, read Crazy Making Legal-Psychiatric Abuse: Signs and Prevention before the abuse to you spirals out of control. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/crazy_making.php

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Family Court Abuse and Parental Alienation – Children As Causalities

February 25, 2010 by Maricopa County Court  
Filed under Family Court

By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.For people who have been in family court battling domestic abuse, it’s no secret that the children are the real causalities.

Typically, the perpetrator will use the legal system to perpetuate domestic abuse upon the spouse he/she is divorcing. And the children are, more often than not, the convenient way in which to carry out the abuser’s agenda to maintain control over the family.

Accusations of parental alienation, whether real or not, are often the maneuver that batterers use to separate protective parents from their children. Funny thing though is that what’s being set in motion is a lifetime of parental alienation by the abuser.

Children of Lies

Then, once the protective parent is walled out of their children’s lives, the children are given a convenient “story” to explain their absence or restricted contact. As is often the case for young children, they internalize their loss of their parent’s disappearance as being their fault.

That’s quite a burden for a child to bear, and often they encounter serious psychological and emotional consequences. In adolescence, they can spiral out of control. The so-called “helpers” that are brought in to correct the behavioral issues are led to believe that all of the mishaps in the children’s lives are because of the absence of the missing parent.

This of course is relayed to the acting-out children as well. So they grow to believe that their life problems all stem from something the missing parent did or, shall we say, didn’t do.

Grown Children of Confusion

Now at some point, the day comes when they become young adults and they can either hold to the family stories that have been dished out along the way. Or, they can sort out their own truths. Often it’s something in-between.

Let’s say they seek out the estranged parent, and all is well between the two of them. The grown child then shares this satisfaction with the alienating parent, and you’re back where you started-another round of parental alienation later in life.

Why? Because, in order to insure that the earlier lies are kept hidden, one must resurrect what keeps them undercover. The child could be told, “Remember all the bad that came into your life because of that missing parent.” This being a memory no young adult would want to rekindle then becomes the cause to engage in round two of parental alienation.

I’m sure by now that you see how and why these children are the true casualties of family court when domestic abuse abounds before, during and after. If you are an estranged parent, don’t ever give up hope of having a healthy and satisfying relationship with your child if he/she is a causality of family court. Something or someone could cross his/her path and inspire breaking the cycle of parental alienation.

For free information on healing parental alienation, see: 3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienation Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps adult children of domestic abuse divorce reconnect with their estranged parent.

2009 Copyright Jeanne King, Ph.D.

http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com/psychological_healing.php

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Jeanne_King,_Ph.D.

Family Court Abuse and Parental Alienation – Children As Causalities

February 10, 2010 by Maricopa County Court  
Filed under Family Court

By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.  –

For people who have been in family court battling domestic abuse, it’s no secret that the children are the real causalities.

Typically, the perpetrator will use the legal system to perpetuate domestic abuse upon the spouse he/she is divorcing. And the children are, more often than not, the convenient way in which to carry out the abuser’s agenda to maintain control over the family.

Accusations of parental alienation, whether real or not, are often the maneuver that batterers use to separate protective parents from their children. Funny thing though is that what’s being set in motion is a lifetime of parental alienation by the abuser.

Children of Lies

Then, once the protective parent is walled out of their children’s lives, the children are given a convenient “story” to explain their absence or restricted contact. As is often the case for young children, they internalize their loss of their parent’s disappearance as being their fault.

That’s quite a burden for a child to bear, and often they encounter serious psychological and emotional consequences. In adolescence, they can spiral out of control. The so-called “helpers” that are brought in to correct the behavioral issues are led to believe that all of the mishaps in the children’s lives are because of the absence of the missing parent.

This of course is relayed to the acting-out children as well. So they grow to believe that their life problems all stem from something the missing parent did or, shall we say, didn’t do.

Grown Children of Confusion

Now at some point, the day comes when they become young adults and they can either hold to the family stories that have been dished out along the way. Or, they can sort out their own truths. Often it’s something in-between.

Let’s say they seek out the estranged parent, and all is well between the two of them. The grown child then shares this satisfaction with the alienating parent, and you’re back where you started-another round of parental alienation later in life.

Why? Because, in order to insure that the earlier lies are kept hidden, one must resurrect what keeps them undercover. The child could be told, “Remember all the bad that came into your life because of that missing parent.” This being a memory no young adult would want to rekindle then becomes the cause to engage in round two of parental alienation.

I’m sure by now that you see how and why these children are the true casualties of family court when domestic abuse abounds before, during and after. If you are an estranged parent, don’t ever give up hope of having a healthy and satisfying relationship with your child if he/she is a causality of family court. Something or someone could cross his/her path and inspire breaking the cycle of parental alienation.

For free information on healing parental alienation, see: 3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienation Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps adult children of domestic abuse divorce reconnect with their estranged parent.

2009 Copyright Jeanne King, Ph.D. http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com/psychological_healing.php

Article Source:  Family Court Abuse and Parental Alienation – Children As Causalities

Family Court Abuse and Parental Alienation – Children As Causalities

October 8, 2009 by Maricopa County Court  
Filed under Family Court

By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. –

For people who have been in family court battling domestic abuse, it’s no secret that the children are the real causalities.

Typically, the perpetrator will use the legal system to perpetuate domestic abuse upon the spouse he/she is divorcing. And the children are, more often than not, the convenient way in which to carry out the abuser’s agenda to maintain control over the family.

Accusations of parental alienation, whether real or not, are often the maneuver that batterers use to separate protective parents from their children. Funny thing though is that what’s being set in motion is a lifetime of parental alienation by the abuser.

Children of Lies

Then, once the protective parent is walled out of their children’s lives, the children are given a convenient “story” to explain their absence or restricted contact. As is often the case for young children, they internalize their loss of their parent’s disappearance as being their fault.

That’s quite a burden for a child to bear, and often they encounter serious psychological and emotional consequences. In adolescence, they can spiral out of control. The so-called “helpers” that are brought in to correct the behavioral issues are led to believe that all of the mishaps in the children’s lives are because of the absence of the missing parent.

This of course is relayed to the acting-out children as well. So they grow to believe that their life problems all stem from something the missing parent did or, shall we say, didn’t do.

Grown Children of Confusion

Now at some point, the day comes when they become young adults and they can either hold to the family stories that have been dished out along the way. Or, they can sort out their own truths. Often it’s something in-between.

Let’s say they seek out the estranged parent, and all is well between the two of them. The grown child then shares this satisfaction with the alienating parent, and you’re back where you started-another round of parental alienation later in life.

Why? Because, in order to insure that the earlier lies are kept hidden, one must resurrect what keeps them undercover. The child could be told, “Remember all the bad that came into your life because of that missing parent.” This being a memory no young adult would want to rekindle then becomes the cause to engage in round two of parental alienation.

I’m sure by now that you see how and why these children are the true casualties of family court when domestic abuse abounds before, during and after. If you are an estranged parent, don’t ever give up hope of having a healthy and satisfying relationship with your child if he/she is a causality of family court. Something or someone could cross his/her path and inspire breaking the cycle of parental alienation.

For free information on healing parental alienation, see: 3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienation Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps adult children of domestic abuse divorce reconnect with their estranged parent.

2009 Copyright Jeanne King, Ph.D. http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com/psychological_healing.php

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Jeanne_King,_Ph.D.

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