May 21, 2012

Legal Domestic Abuse – Is the Family Court System Supposed to Be Just and Fair?

By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

I often hear domestic violence survivors hollering that the family court system is not being just and fair. They say, it is supposed to be just and fair yet, it isn’t.

My question is, “Is that true?” I’m not sure if the word “fair” is relevant here.

What Is Before the Court

You see the family court system is really about adjudicating on what’s before the court. And what’s before the court is more a matter of what the attorneys put before the court, that is, what they put in front of the judge.

So, if you are scratching your head or tearing your hair out over what’s just and fair, I recommend that you consider what’s before the court.

It’s your business to carefully monitor whether your case is being put before the court in a way that represents your best interest. And if it is not, it is your responsibility to do something about it.

It is not the court’s responsibility to make sure your position is properly represented. Rather, the court’s job is merely to pass judgment on what is before the judge.

Being Proactive to Create Justice

Now, it is true that battered women often get the raw end of the deal in family court. It is also true that one of the reasons for this is because they are not knowledgeable on how to get their case before the court.

And sadly, as is typically the case, their counsel reflexively operates according to the financial politics of the case. You may think it is cold and cruel that finances govern the operation of the legal judicial system; but let’s face it, attorneys are paid court agents. They are not free public servants, at least not in divorce court.

If you are a domestic violence survivor and protective parent in a custody or divorce matter, be mindful of the influence and control you could have by getting your case before the court.

For more information about legal abuse and divorce, visit http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/legal_domestic_abuse.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps domestic abuse survivors prevent abuse in divorce and custody cases nationwide. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Article Source: Domestic Abuse – Is the Family Court System Supposed to Be Just and Fair?

Domestic Abuse and Family – The Use of Your Family to Carry Out Your Abusive Partner’s Agenda

By Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. -

To add insult to injury, confusion to the complicated, mystery to the already oozing drama is the use of your own family to carry out your abusive partner’s agenda. Why?

Whose Family Is My Family?

If you’re perplexed as to why your parents are suddenly supporting your partner’s desire to have you out of your house, or his interest to have you out of your children’s lives, it may be time to look closer at the dynamics in play.

If you don’t, you may be inadvertently allowing for the destruction of some important family support at a time when you need them most. In fact this, in part, is why this strategy is often used. It adds to your isolation!

What to Do When You Notice Your Family Is Acting Like His Family

If you are working your way out of an abusive relationship and must pass through the social political ropes of family court, pay close attention to what side of the courtroom your immediate family gravitates. And as hard as this may seem, recognize this too is NOT about you.

Abusive people will use any and all of your natural network of strength as though they own natural rights to what’s yours. And from here, they will work these supporters to be your enemies and to become their allies, all in an effort to strengthen their efforts to carry out their own agendas.

If you approach the least likely member of your family to be drawn into this strategic ploy first, you will be more successful at influencing the whole clan before the seduced support for your partner’s agenda spirals out of control.

Let this family member know you know what is and/or may be going on, and ask them to serve as your voice with other members of the family. This way you can keep your focus on your personal battles and enlist a messenger to offset this ploy. Furthermore, this family member’s message to the rest of the family is likely to be received more objectively than if it came from you.

If you are a victim of domestic abuse and wish to end the cycle, you will want to read the [http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/legal_abuse_ebook.php]Legal Domestic Abuse before the control is supported by those outside of your home. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse at home and in court. © 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com

Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. – Domestic Abuse Prevention and Intervention

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